This post is in fulfillment of a challenge my cousin, Chris, gave me: to write a blog post using every word on this list.
Since many of these words are not actually in the English language, I suggest you keep this list open in another tab to refer to as you read this post. Don't worry, you'll know one of these unusual words when you run into one. I am going to write about experiences that I very well may have already described on my blog, but when I was reading through the list of words, my mind kept going back to Alaska, so I knew that's what I had to write about. Here's to hoping I am grammatically correct with my usage...
When I was considering what I would do with my 2013 summer, I was initially planning on just working at camp again, except this time as a program leader instead of a camp counselor. Big step up, you know. That fall, though, I experienced some major fernweh, especially, for some reason, for Jamaica. I really wanted to embark on a dérive, but peacing out is easier said than done; I needed to plan something. It also started occurring to me that going back to camp would be an area of koyaanisqatsi for me, and that I really needed to make a change and step outside of my comfort zone. Going back to camp would be allowing my faith to become or remain stagnant when it needed very much to grow. This prodding of my heart that God was giving to me led to my trips to both Kingston, Jamaica in the spring and Juneau, Alaska in the summer.
The first women's campout this summer was certainly an experience I'll never forget. I made multiple efforts to integrate myself into friendships with these strangers and was mildly successful. They all saw me as the quiet one, but I wasn't satisfied with that. I knew that was who I naturally was, but I valued depth in relationships with these Godly women more than my own reserve. When I scrambled up to a perch to join three of them that were watching the sunset over the mountains and ocean bay, with whales coming up for air and bald eagles soaring into and out of the tall evergreen forest, we all felt incredibly overwhelmed by this numinous blessing from God. We had found a smultronställe; we were even considering pinching ourselves to assure that what we were experiencing was, in fact, real. When we left the campsite the next morning, I'm sure we all wished we had left our sillage there, when in reality, that place and that experience left sillage in all of us. Aside from the incredibly beautiful flight into Juneau, the moments from that camping trip were my first Erlebnisse of the summer.
Our third camping trip was on a smallish island not far from "the valley" where we lived. The weather was lovely and I longed to explore. There were a few paths that led to the top of a hill right above where we camped, so I went up there, but I wasn't done. Realizing that I had the power to tramp anywhere I pleased, I was filled with vorfreude. I felt transformed into a nemophilist, just like Chris McCandless! Well, not quite, but that's how I felt. I roamed all over that island, way beyond where any trails were blazed, along the rocky beach on the other side and up and over the big hill that I pretended was a small mountain.
I worked at Juneau's Walmart for the summer. It wasn't the best job in the world, and I really experienced Weltanschauung there because of being surrounded by materialism, excess, and love of money and wealth. There was one moment I distinctly remember when I and my colleagues were working in trailers in the parking lot. Since there are literally mountains in every direction in Juneau, I remember looking from the paved ground to the grand and green mountain in front of me and feeling that the parking lot on which I was standing was extremely unreal and unnatural. I told my friend Elizabeth about this, asking if she ever felt like she wasn't on Planet Earth. She didn't understand my question at first, but I prodded her, giving her an ostranenie (really unsure about the grammar for that one).
My sister is self-diagnosed with tsundoku. (I don't know how to truly incorporate that word into this post, sorry.)
I also can't recall a time from this summer, or any time worth really noting, that I experienced or participated in mamihlapinatapai.
The best friend I made this summer was Lauren. Together, we enjoyed long talks about Jesus and boys, the occasional cry, acting like goofs, and hand cuddling. We also loved to cafuné, which got even funner when I let her trim my hair after everyone took turns at cutting my dreads. Recently, after the school year started, she and her boyfriend got engaged and I called her up, sharing in firgun with her (also unsure about the grammar here). It was because of her Godly wisdom, in part, that I drew nearer to a state of sophrosyne about multiple issues in my life.
I also remember a moment of near rasasvada toward the end of the summer when I looked into the sky around midnight and for the first time since I arrived there, saw stars. (Because of the long hours of daylight in the summertime, it previously never got dark enough for any to appear, at least in any quantity.) I was too tired to think very hard about it except to be in awe and excitement over what I was seeing. At the same time, I felt humbled, and a sense of acatalepsy came over me in the face of the bigness of God.
In some ways, this summer turned me into a nefelibata. I have always sort of longed to march to the beat of a different drum, and several lifestyle changes have allowed for that. I experienced a real metanoia that I am still watching unfold. Because of the power of the Lord, I saw orenda ripple-effect because of me into the people around me. While I may not believe in meliorism, I do believe that God can change lives drastically. He changed mine, and he's changed others' through and around me.
Since returning to our home states, I and many other people that were on Project with me have felt strong hiraeth for Alaska. However, I feel sehnsucht much more strongly for a place where Jesus, my Project friends, all believers I know and love, and all believers that have ever lived, and I will all finally live together, in our gezellig Heavenly home.
God bless.
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