Tired Introverts

I was going to make a graph depicting what I am about to explain (like I did a couple posts ago), but the process of creating and explaining the graph itself may be more trouble than it's worth. I am a words person, not a graph person, anyway, right?

Look, I'm an introvert. A lot of my close friends know this; a lot of acquaintances do not.

There's a whole movement of introverts quietly taking a stand for who they are and how they ought to be treated, yada, yada, yada.

I am going to unoriginally add to that movement.

I just finished a personality psychology course in which I discovered that almost every major personality test includes an introversion/extraversion spectrum and on almost every spectrum, introversion is described or viewed negatively. I'd give you some examples, but my brain rejected them so much that I can't recall any. I think being an introvert is wonderful.

MYTH: Introverts hate people.
FACT: People make introverts tired.

We are not a bunch of lethargics because of this, of course. We just manage our time spent with people differently than most extraverts.

There are two basic factors that determine how tired I am at the end of a social interaction: number of people and how well I know the people I am interacting with. The dependent variable, so to speak, is how quickly I tire.

Here are a few samples:

 I am able to spend long hours (the whole day, in fact) with a close friend and not tire or wish to escape and be alone. Why? Because she is only one person at a time, and because I know her quite well. The same applies to my future husband or close family members. Even still, there is some relief when I am left alone after spending time with people like this.

A large group of people where I hardly know anyone is, of course, the opposite. I tire very quickly and it doesn't take long in those situations for me to have the desire to run away and have some peace. If I can't escape, I zone out and get the alone time in my own head; I become a wallflower. I'm not against new people. I'm not against making friends. I just don't have the stamina to take all that in all at once. I can maybe go an hour before I start shutting down.

Then there are the happy mediums. The smallish groups of people where I know everyone moderately well, the one person whom I've just met, and the large group of people where I know everyone very well, all tire me eventually: much sooner than a close friend and much more slowly than a roomful of unfamiliar faces.

And that's basically it. I probably haven't told you anything you didn't already know about introverts, so you're welcome for wasting your time.

Also, I don't hate you, and I do get tired of being alone sometimes, so please be my friend. My primary "love language" is quality time, so time spent with people I care about, even if I get tired, is valuable to me.


God bless.