Bad Relationship Advice

Someone once told me, "You'll know you've found the one when it doesn't feel like work."

I smiled and nodded at the time to appease this person so that their advice would seem appreciated (as I was not in a place with this person that I felt comfortable arguing). But I took it with a grain of salt.

On the contrary, any worthwhile relationship is work.

For example, your relationship with your friends requires time, a listening ear, making an effort to show you care, driving around, paying for something you don't really want to pay for. Work! Worth it? Absolutely, but it is work nonetheless.

What about your children? Even as someone with none of her own, I understand at least a fraction of the gravity of work it takes to raise a child. How much sacrifice could that possibly take? Thousands of dollars, missed sleep, feeding them, clothing them, teaching them how to take care of themselves, actually teaching them pretty much everything they need to know, driving them around, drying their tears, cleaning more poopy bottoms than you ever wanted or could imagine. Sacrifice. Work. And hopefully well, well worth it.

Your relationship with God requires work. As any Christian  will probably tell you, it's not all sunshine and rainbows and a perpetual spiritual high. It's persecution and conviction and humbling and striving and work. Worth it? Yes, every second. Amen and halleluiah.

Why would a romantic relationship be any different?

Should a romantic relationship always be skipping hand-in-hand through a field of lollipops? Should it always be hugs and smiles? Should there always be agreement and never any argument or conflict whatsoever? Should it just be a happy trip from dating to the glorious walk down the aisle to perfect kids in a perfect house into the peaceful happily ever after? Is that realistic? Well, maybe it would be nice, but no.

It's not going to be easy. It's not always going to be fun. It's going to be work, and it's going to piss you off and make you want to cry and curl into a ball and stress you out and frustrate you. But if the relationship is worth it, you keep working. You keep pushing. You keep investing time. You keep loving. You work on intimacy. You work on friendship. You work on encouragement. And yes, it will actually feel like hard work sometimes. But, like the paycheck you get from your job at the end of the month, sometimes the work is well worth it.


God bless.