Definitions

We are creatures of definition and we allow/seek many things to define us.

You already know this, I'm sure. But would you like to hear me talk about it? Good. Here I go.

Appearances define us. Our clothes and makeup tell others our opinions of ourselves. Our hair is a good indicator of our personal hygiene. Our weight boasts our greatest struggles or our greatest accomplishments. Our posture proclaims our mood.

Music defines us. Oh you listen to country? Does that mean you grew up on a farm? Oh you listen to rap? You thug. Oh you listen to rock? What a conformist. Oh you listen to jazz? You really think you're that cool? Oh you listen to _______? You must be _________.

Home defines us. Do you live in a city, suburb, or the country? Is your house big or small or nonexistent? How do you decorate? Is your place a mess or is it tidy? Is your lawn mowed? Is your dorm door open or closed? Why is that poster/painting there? Is home full of pets? Is it full of plants? Is it full of people? Are you alone? Do you ever have visitors? What do you keep in your fridge? How furnished is it? What are the colors?

Gender defines us. I can't [wear that/say that/eat that/read that/go to that place] because I'm a girl.
I can't [wear that/say that/eat that/read that/go to that place] because I'm a guy.

Sexual orientation defines us. That guy is so flamboyant, he must be gay. Why is that girl wearing clothes like that? Is she a lesbian? That guy is definitely straight; look at how he ogles those ladies. That girl is such a slut, I think she likes guys a little too much. "I am sexually confused and don't want to be made fun of..."

Wealth defines us. Anywhere from the vast populations of poverty-stricken countries to the few billionaires. How much money do you make? How much did that cost for you?

Actions define us. My college major is ______. My job is ______. My hobbies are ______. Over the summer I will be doing ______. In my spare time I ______. One time I _____.

Our creations define us. What you build, make, sew, paint, bake, grow, or concoct is a product of your imagination. Our internal being is reflected and expressed in these external, tactile items.

Religion defines us. As an elementary student I clearly remember being asked on the playground, "Are you Catholic or Christian?" (Whatever that means.) But what about the girl that wears the hijab or the guy who wears the Wiccan pentacle around his neck? Who do we pray to?

Childhood defines us. Were your parents loving and caring providers or were they abusive and neglectful? How did the kids at school treat you? Did you have exciting fun experiences or were you bored in front of a TV screen? Was there a traumatic experience that haunts you to this day? Did you love something? Did someone die? Did you have siblings? Did you get yelled at for bad grades or did the teacher tell all the other kids that they should follow your example? Did you laugh?

Names define us. What do people call you? What do those names mean? How do they reflect your character?

Friends define us. How they act, how they dress, how they talk, how they influence us. From getting high to sitting in a pew, we follow their lead.

What we love defines us.

~

Many of us, I'm sure, would say that these "definitions" are a bad thing. And for the most part, they are. The extent the world leads us to take them to is definitely bad. We take them way too seriously. However, at the same time, we need them. We need to be defined, because if we had nothing with which to define us, everyone would be in a heck of an identity crisis.

We need to be our own person, definitely. We need to express ourselves and we need our quirks and uniquenesses and our stories. We need those to be us. We are allowed to change ourselves and make decisions about who we are.

But we also are creations. We also are ourselves products and expressions of creativity. So how can we let that define us?

Psalm 139:13-16 says:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Allow yourself to be the person you were born to be and allow yourself to be changed for the good.

Be you.

In closing, I would like to share some things that came up in the comments on my recent facebook status. I asked, "For a blog post: What are things that 'define' us?"

Garrett P. said, "'Its not who I am underneath, but what I do, that defines me.' -Batman from the Batman Begins"

Amy B. said, "Depends on who's doing the defining. God defines me as His child, and a saint (righteous). Sometimes perhaps a very childish saint. I define myself according to my mission: I am a witness for the Savior. I have to be careful not to let my self-definition devolve into my WORK, which is infinitely inferior to my mission. The world defines me by what they see; some see a teacher, some a healer, some a dog lover, and some a really obnoxious, prideful stinker. And we are all correct. In the end, only one will matter. I'm counting on my Father's mercy and justice."

and, of course, Amber B. said, "aliens. aliens define us. manta rays are also a big factor, as well as clowns. clowns define a lot of people. just sayin." She later added, "the history channel defines us...horoscopes...fossilized remains of wooly mammoths...watermelon...."

Be you.

God bless.