I wish I could whisper "I love you" to my future husband. I wish he would hear the echo and know his someday wife is out there in the world, waiting and longing for him, wishing him sweet dreams. He wouldn't hear my name or know my voice. He wouldn't know how far the whisper had travelled. He would just hear it and be comforted, and I would be comforted in knowing that he had heard me.
I have been told by some of my girl friends that I talk about marriage too much, but I don't think that's true. I think we're all thinking about it a lot, and I just am not afraid to admit it and be open about it. I declare that although I am content in my singleness and find fulfillment in my relationship with Christ, I still deeply desire marriage and wonder who, when?
I wish it was an easy process. In this "free" country, I feel pressured by society to fall deeply in love with someone before I even think about commitment to them. What if, sometimes, marriage comes before deep love? But society won't allow for that. Even lust is a better reason to marry than plain decision and commitment, apparently.
I wish I could hold auditions, or simply trust my parents to arrange someone for me (as I know they would find someone quite suitable). I wish I could put out flyers or hold a series of interviews. I wish someone who met my qualifications would just walk into my life, realize I fit his qualifications, and simply get on one knee with little hesitation (but hopefully a lot of prayer). And then it could just be done. I could marry swiftly and effectively. Out of commitment and devotion would grow a deep love between me and whoever.
But right now there's no one. Some potentials, maybe, but no one seems particularly interested in dating me, much less marrying me. I guess that's okay. I know that's fine. I just have a desire to marry young, but youthfulness is starting to run out on me. I feel like my mom set the bar when she married just before her 22nd birthday, but I know that's silly. Of course everyone's story is different.
Lord, prepare my heart for my husband, but teach me how to love you first and foremost.
Goodnight, my Someone. I love you.
God bless.
It's good to know that there's a lady out there who thinks like that. I was talking to my pastor today about the same thing... Marriage at our age. He mentioned something and I realised that to some, I sound desperate but I know what I want and I was hoping people my age were in the same position but it's rare. He was right when he said that people our age don't think like this (generally speaking).
ReplyDeleteExactly, many young people think a lot more about dating and hooking up than finding a lifelong partner. When I said in my post that I think a lot of people think about marriage but won't admit it, I guess I was referring to my Christian friends who really ARE more concerned with marriage than dating, but who, like you, don't want to be seen as desperate or unsatisfied in Godly singleness, so they don't talk about their desires.
DeleteYes, I think that's what it is... I really like this blog. (Y). :)
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