How Do You Know I'm Saved?

I got the idea for this post during finals week, when I didn't have time to write it. I am finally getting around to it, you're welcome.

My concern is for people that think they're saved.

Matthew 7:21-23 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

I've met several, maybe even "lots" of people who have said, Yes, I'm a Christian... but they have no idea what that means. Way too many people think that "Christian" is a person's religion, determined by whether or not they go to church (as opposed to the synagogue or mosque or none of the above). No. It's more than that. Just because you know the story of Jesus doesn't mean you accept it. It doesn't mean you believe it. It doesn't mean you apply it to your life. 

I remember being in elementary school when my friend asked me on the playground, "Are you Christian or Catholic?" I was baffled, because I thought Catholicism was a form of Christianity. I feel I was unsuccessful in explaining the word "denomination" to my friend when I told her I was Christian, but I was also Lutheran...as opposed to Catholic. 

Unfortunately not many people, even adults, are much more educated than my friend from elementary school. 

When I was a freshman in high school, I started dating this "Christian" guy. He's great, had/has a great set of morals and likes to keep the peace. He likes to smile and wouldn't hurt a fly. But whenever we talked about religion (which wasn't often), I took him at his word about his being a christian. His facebook religious views still say "Catholic", but I've learned from mutual genuine Christian friends that he really doesn't know what he believes, that he doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus. Truly, I continue a friendship with him and still rarely, if ever, hear him talk about or mention God. A true Christian wouldn't be so detached from their faith, especially around someone else (me) they knew was a Christian. I don't think he was/is lying, I just think he was/is ignorant, although I have come across people that did lie to me about their faith...

I remember a year or two ago, I was talking with a friend who said he was a Christian, and I took him at his word as well. I asked him to pray for me several times, and since he was clearly living a "good" life, I praised him for his faith on multiple occasions. However, unlike the first guy I mentioned, I finally got the brilliant idea to ask him what his faith meant to him. To my amazement, I discovered that he had no relationship, or even genuine interest, in the man called Jesus, and that his only connection with Christianity was that his family used to go to church, and that he agreed with the morals in the Bible (which he never read). In a long, drawn out, and very gentle response to that, I told him that I thought his Christianity was not genuine, and that given he doesn't know what he really believes, he was more or less agnostic. He now has as his religious views on facebook, "Agnostic is about the best description right now." Interesting...

I think it's important for everyone, whether you're Christian or not, to analyze their faith. If you haven't really thought about it, you're doing it wrong. If you haven't questioned God, or his existence, or his character, you're doing it wrong. If you think religion is enough, you're doing it wrong. If you're settling for whatever your parents say and not making any of it personal for you, you're doing it wrong.

So, I'm a Christian. But how do you know I mean it? Do you dare ask me?

What do you believe? Do you dare ask yourself? Are you afraid of doubt? Don't be. Ask.

I truly believe that Jesus is the Savior of this world, but I'm not going to try to force you to believe that. However, I want to offer you this opportunity to email me at bennettmk@earthlink.net in case you're wondering what I think Christianity is, or talk to me about your spiritual journey, or even how you can accept Jesus as your personal Savior. Obviously that's a big step, but whatever you want to talk about, here's my email address. Have at it.

That's all.

God bless.

Stereotypes Are Bad: Dreadlocks (and other facts-about-me)

Hi, my name is Maryann. I'm white, I'm American, I'm a female, I'm in college, and I have dreadlocks. Many of you already know these facts.

Presumed Stereotype Before Dreads:
• Goody two-shoes
• Straight-A student
• Barbie-ish
• Boring
• Doesn't understand real life

Presumed Stereotype After Dreads:
• Smokes pot
• Dirty and smelly and trashy
• Undesirable/unsexy
• Liberal, hippie (or is it hippy?)
• Strange lifestyle, i.e. pagan or vegan or something else ending in -gan
• Complete wannabe
• Lesbian
(I believe that this website, where I got the idea for this post and which includes many of these stereotypes, is made up of nothing but white males)


Uhhh, so I have something to say about this. But I have to start with the fact that I love my dreads.

I recently had a revelation about myself: I like to be different. A lot of people I know probably knew this about me a long time ago, but I am just now realizing it. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I don't like to shock people, but I like to throw them off a little. I like to make them question stereotypes. For example, I grew up in the suburbs/almost city, but I drive a pick-up truck. I am raising a bamboo plant in my dorm room; who knew? I play a pretty weird instrument (how many non-musicians here know what a bassoon is?). I love fire (earlier today I burned a piece of tape to see what would happen and it made Gavin panic). I'm dangerous because I carry pepper spray around with me after dark. I still wear high heels when I dress up even though they're out of style and I love long skirts (okay, that one's not a very big deal). I want to learn sign language, not spanish (that's just kind of illogical, really). I had cornrows once (they looked bad). Oh, and I don't like stuffed animals (at least, I don't like owning them). For goodness sake, my name is Maryann. How weird is that (for someone my age, anyway)? I could think of more strange facts-about-me, but I'm not going to.

The point is that none of these things are going to shock you, but maybe some of them will make you say, "Really? You do?"

One of my best friend's roommates (Amber being the friend, Madison being her roommate) recently commented on how the way I dress conflicts with my hairstyle. I don't wear drug-rugs or anything like that. I like to keep it classy when I can afford it, and still nice-ish when I can't. (Don't quote me on this when you see me stumble into class in sweatpants and a hoodie, please...) but still. It's a style thing. I like to look nice. Sometimes I even wear makeup. Sometimes. Makeup a subject for another day.

To quote my latest facebook status, "[The contrast between the way I dress and my hairstyle] confuses people and makes them think twice about who I really am--and proves to them that they don't really know me until they know me."

I guess that's what it boils down to. Jesus knows me, and I can't think anyone else who really, truly does.  Deep down I'm someone else and try as I might to truly be myself, it's very difficult. I mean, right? Who, of the people reading this, can honestly say they always act like themselves? No one. Because how you act depends on the situation you're in, who you're around, what mood you're in, etc. You act one way even when, on the inside, you're someone else. Some people act radically different than their true selves, others are only slightly off. But no one is dead-on. There's no way to convey that inner-self. No one can see inside you except yourself and God. No one else understands your heart. You're sort of on your own, that is, if you don't have a relationship with you-know-who. By the way, yes, I'm a christian. Did I just burst another stereotype? Uh-oh.

My point is this: Why are you stereotyping me? I don't smoke pot and I do wash my hair. I do understand life and I'm not really a liberal. (If you're really wondering, you could call me moderate-conservative, but I would advise you not to put me anywhere on the political spectrum, partly because I base my beliefs off my faith, partly because I'm uninformed and don't know what I'm talking about, and partly because I'm indecisive.)

If I would stop going off on tangents, maybe I could actually manage to wrap this thing up.

I take showers and I love my hair and I probably am a goody two-shoes anyway but just don't want to admit it. So just get to know me instead of jumping to conclusions. There. I'm done. Goodnight.

God bless.

An Unsent Letter

I wrote this brief, clumsy letter to a friend on Wednesday, September 7 of this year, and it has been sitting on my desk collecting dust ever since. I am too chicken to send it, especially since parts of it are so poorly written. But I'm not too chicken to put it on my blog at 12:30 at night, apparently. Here is is.

Dear _______,
I hope you are well and that school is going smoothly.
I write to tell you that I noticed in my our last visit to your home that although I think we both greatly enjoy spending time with one another and joking around, our friendship is very surface-level and shallow, having had almost no "deep" conversations or below-the-surface sharings. I was disturbed by this realization because as is, I care for you and love you very much; you are like a brother to me. Are we content to hide our affections and feelings of kinship and allow ourselves to be limited to small-talk, banter, music, and childish humor? While nothing is inherently wrong with these things, doesn't true friendship demand more? Love for anyone can not be inferred; it must be expressed openly. I therefore would like to tell you that you are very dear to me and always have been and I hope that next time we see each other, our friendship takes on the quality it is meant to be.
God bless!
-Maryann


I just don't know how Jesus did it. I don't always know how to form deep relationships on purpose. I can do it on accident, but sometimes even when I want to, the means to do so are too lofty and challenging. It's sad, because there are so many people that I've wanted to talk to, to get to know and hear their story, that I never even introduced myself to. We're relational beings, but sometimes forming relationships is harder than it sounds. We have to take steps forward and be proactive though. Maybe a letter like this out of the blue would be a bit too sudden, but if I took small steps, in asking a person how they're doing, slowly asking deeper questions, that might work. Rather than just saying "Why aren't we as good of friends as we should be? Let's have a deep relationship," we should be more subtle about it. Subliminal relationship-forming. Until, at least, it gets to that point where you can say, "Hey, we're friends! We should do this more often! I like you as a person! Etc!"

Now I'm thinking out loud (or, thinking...through... my fingers...  hahahaha) and it's getting late and I don't know why I'm still awake.


Goodnight and God bless.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

The traditional hymn, "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" has never rang (rung?) truer for me than it is ringing this Advent season. I feel like every moment I am on the edge of my seat, waiting for Jesus to come. We sang a version of this at church tonight and it was so moving. Here are the timeless lyrics:

O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o'er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, O come, Thou Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai's height,
In ancient times did'st give the Law,
In cloud, and majesty and awe.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

Here is my (very loose) translation to said lyrics:

Please come, Jesus, "God with us",

Free us, because we are in captivity until you arrive.

We rejoice! You are coming.

Come Jesus, human like us,

Free your people from the wrath of Satan,

the cruel tortures of Hell,

and give us victory over death

We rejoice! You are coming.

Come Jesus, our sunrise,

Lift up our spirits and give us hope.

Death looms but you have power over it.

We rejoice! You are coming.

Come Jesus, ruler of the nations,

Bring us to Heaven, 

And end our pain and sadness.

We rejoice! You are coming.

[I don't remember this verse in the hymnal I used in my home church, but it's still nice.]

Come, mighty Jesus,

Come fulfill the law

You are majestic and awe-inspiring.

We rejoice! You are coming.

Seriously. Jesus is coming. I don't even necessarily mean the second coming, I mean HERE in our lives TODAY, he is penetrating our lives, encountering our souls when we least expect it. CRAZY. Sometimes you have to wait though. But waiting is exciting. I mean, it's Jesus. You can't not get excited.

God bless.