I had what might be considered an out-of-body experience today in which I saw myself from my 13-year-old self's perspective.
I was driving, with the warm sun shining in on my arms and face and the mountains in full view on my right, a cool song I'd never heard before playing on the radio. From my current perspective, it was a slightly above-average experience, however the fact that I was driving to the shop to pay $130 on a car repair for a problem that had no drivability symptoms neutralized the moment significantly.
Suddenly, I wondered what ten-years-ago me would think if she could see me in that moment, and realized I was the epitome of coolness. I looked cool: I was wearing cute shoes, dark skinny jeans, aviators, and my favorite teal tank top. My red hair was braided down the back and my double-pierced ears were decorated. I was in my very own car, driving parallel to snow-capped mountains, jamming out. And I was doing cool things: being an adult getting car repairs, spending adult-sized money, working, going to grad school. My 13-year-old self was dazzled. She was thrilled that over the next ten years she would become so awesome. She couldn't wait for that one moment in the car to come.
I think people tend to get really down because they compare themselves so unrealistically to others' "ideal" lives. We look at all the cool people and we're jealous of their coolness. We look at our future and despair with the fear that it won't all turn out like we hope. We daydream about the things we want to do but don't have the time or money or even motivation for and conclude that our life is useless and stupid.
But I think looking at yourself from an outside perspective can help. What would ten-years-ago you think of you? What have you accomplished that you never thought you would? What are you doing right now, in this moment in your life, that would impress someone younger and less experienced? Something as simple as working a full-time job is noteworthy. Something as normal as renting your own apartment and furnishing it yourself can seem incredibly grown-up and cool to someone who hasn't left mom and dad's yet.
Your life isn't perfect, obviously, but neither is the person's next to you. Be optimistic: if ten-years ago you is impressed by present you, think how cool present you would find ten-years-from-now you. I like where I am now, a lot, but I'm excited to meet 33-year-old Maryann. She is probably super awesome.
God bless.
