How to Fail at Lent

My Lenten discipline was not much of a secret this year. I used my determination to actually read my Bible intentionally on a daily basis not only to encourage others but to keep myself accountable. If no one knew, it probably wouldn't have happened. In the past I've been able to stay pretty disciplined on my own about not eating sweets or whatever (and I've done some pretty bizarre things for Lent before!), but getting up early to set aside time for Jesus just isn't my style! Selfishly sleeping in totally is, though. Just telling people that I was going to read all 4 Gospels during Lent was enough to keep me going. No one asked me every day, "Did you read?" but they might have. They might have.

That's not really why I did it though. I've been dying to get closer to my Savior on a personal level. I had to make it happen.

So I found a reading "plan" on some pastor or someone's blog, and I stuck to the schedule every day. I don't think I missed a single day, believe it or not. Even if I miss a day (maybe I forgot that it happened?), I know I was able to make it up quickly, because I never got behind.

And when I got pretty close to Easter, I realized I still had almost half the book of John to read. The schedule stopped at chapter 13 within a matter of days. There are 21 chapters in John.

I failed. The schedule I found online failed me. I did not finish the four Gospels in 40 days. I'm sorry, Jesus.

That's not the important thing, though. In fact, I succeeded. I got into the habit of reading my Bible daily, and I have every intention of continuing that habit, even though it means dragging my weary butt out of bed half an hour earlier. I will eventually finish John, and I will start other books of the Bible after that.

Fasting during Lent isn't always a fast. In my case, it was only a fast of time, of sleep. But I thank God for giving me the strength to pursue him, and I also thank him for letting me fail. This is not a victory of mine, but of God's. If I can give him power over my life and soul, I think he should be allowed to have power over my daily schedule.

I'll fail at this again, I know. Thank God that he will help me succeed again later.


God bless.

Top Ten- Peanuts

My top ten favorite Peanuts characters:

1. Snoopy
2. Linus
3. Charlie Brown
4. Schroeder
5. Sally
6. Franklin
7. Pigpen
8. Marcie
9. Peppermint Patty
10. Lucy
11. Rerun
12. Woodstock
13. The little red-headed girl
14. Spike
15. Olaf

That was 15, not ten. Hm.
I do not consider myself having "cheated" in the making of this list.

Peanuts is fabulous. Charles Schulz is pretty cool too.


God bless.

New

Racing thoughts at the communion rail this morning, on Easter Sunday, produced this poem tonight. It took me roughly 15 minutes to write.

Dirty hands and dead seeds.

A sprout pushes skyward

A shoot, a bud, a flower, life.

Blossom from the womb of womankind

The cry of pain at the moment

Of entering Planet Earth.

Glistening tear on the cheek

Of she who bore this babe.

Choked laughter as she reaches

Out for her tiny beloved

For the first time.

Tiny hands that would one day

Write manuscripts that would become

Ancient in the hands of the old,

Yet printed freshly for millions

Of young ones eager to learn.

Bright, youthful eyes

Hungry for the old that is new still to them

Words containing stories

Story after story after story

Of a single kiss that was new every day

Upon petal lips that grow dry and wither

But in the morning are kissed again

For the very first time.

Lips that shimmer with the glistening tears

That have fallen from relief.

Once dry and parched like a tomb

Now pink and moist like a baby’s cheek

Or a blossoming flower

And new

Newer, newer, newer, daily

Like ancient new texts

And a savior that lives,

Having been killed.

God bless.

An Example of Sin

While there are many wonderful exceptions, it's come to my attention that some Christian music has gone down the crapper. The biggest culprit: sin.

I've heard lyrics similar this:

I lay my life down at Your feet
Cause You're the only one I need
I turn to You and You are always there

In troubled times it's You I seek
I put You first that's all I need
I humble all I am all to You

One way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for...

Really? We lay our lives down at the feet of Jesus? I thought he laid his life down for us, but we rejected him! Peter claimed he would never deny Christ, but follow him even until death, yet failed, and rejected him three times.

What about always putting him first and seeking him in troubled times? Yeah right! Evidently the writer of these lyrics has a perfect relationship with Christ, since he never puts anything above him, never seeks solace in worldly things.

"I humble all I am all to You." Humble? Hmph! Doesn't sound like it. If you have to tell other people how humble you are, you shouldn't have to say so. Actions speak louder than words.

And finally, "You're the only one that I could live for." I would be okay if it said, "You're the only one that I should live for," but it doesn't. This person is claiming to live only for Christ! Let me tell you, the only one capable of being that good is Christ himself, and he didn't even live for himself; he lived and died for sinners like us. This song barely talks about the goodness of Christ, but doesn't fail to boast of the goodness of the song's author.

Yes, I know I am seriously getting on the case of a very well-known and respected Christian music artist, but it's only one example of the widespread self-glorification I see in Christian music. Am I wrong to say these things? Am I being vain?

If I thought I was any better than the modern Christian artists who do this, I would be definitely be at fault in saying these things. But I admit that I'm not. I have been vain. I have loved myself much more than I have loved God. I have turned to worldly things for comfort and strength. I admit that I'm a sinner.

We need more songs like this one:

Chorus:
I'm not all right
I'm broken inside
Broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to You
It leads me to You

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone

And when I'm open wide
With nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on
‘Cause honestly I'm not that strong

Chorus:

And I move (3x's)
And I move closer to you
And I move (3x's)
And I move closer to you
And I move (3x's)

Chorus:

I'm not all right that's why I need you


Now there's some honesty in music!

I love praise songs, don't get me wrong. But they should focus on praising you-know-who rather than ourselves. Am I right?!

I struggle not to put myself on a pedestal, as I mentioned earlier, and I need the Christian music around me not to encourage that evil mindset, but to put me in my place! I am a sinner, and in desperate need of a God who is good! The music we listen to affects our thoughts, and I'd hate to think that the Christian music being blared through the speakers is encouraging a sinful mindset.

As Christians we need to admit that we're sinners. In fact, we should brag that it is only through Christ that we can even resemble goodness; only through him that we have grace and eternal life. I was creeping on my friend Phil's facebook to find that his About Phil section reads: The worst of sinners. And also very stupid. His religious views section also simply reads: sinner. 

I admire the people that are more than willing to admit their sin, their need for grace. Can't we all be a little more like that? Wouldn't that be what truly brings us closer to our Savior, rather than claiming we are the ones always running toward him?

Thank you, Dad and Mike for inspiring this post. Also the Holy Spirit.

Love, a sinner.


God bless.