Anticipation

On one hand, I can handle anticipation. I actually like it. Growing up, kids my age would brag about being able to unwrap presents to peak at their Christmas presents and wrap them back up without their parents knowing, but I never understood the logic of that. Why ruin the surprise? Some families let their kids open one present on Christmas Eve, but that also felt like cheating to me. When I got older and my parents put out "Santa's" presents before I was even in bed on Christmas Eve, I always diverted my eyes so as not to ruin anything for the next morning. The waiting was worth it.

Anticipation builds affection. It makes you excited for what is to come. I heard someone say something along those lines when referring to pregnancy. During the nine months of gestation, a woman is falling more in love with the child she has yet to meet. I hope that someday I can experience this as well. It will be like Christmas.

But for some reason, I do not delight in anticipation that has no end date. The second coming of Christ... I have ants in my pants, as opposed to the first coming of Christ, which rolls around on December 25th every year. It's something I can count down to. 

Another one: getting married. If I ever get married (Lord willing!), it sure won't be tomorrow or the next day, or anytime in the foreseeable future. That's not a joyful anticipation I have. It's an irritated one. I want to be able to count down, darnit! I want to know when this "husband" will come waltzing into my life so that I can plan accordingly. I want to know if I even have anything to look forward to.

Thus, here is a question that I don't have the answer to. How do I wait for things without a due date in joyful anticipation and excitement, the way I do for things with a due date?

If you have the answer, let me know.

God bless.