For a Guy

Pardon me while I vent.

In a few weeks I'll be moving across the country, and one of the most common assumptions people make is that I'm moving out there for a guy. I frequently get asked, "Oh, is your boyfriend moving out there or something?" Forgive me, but I do not believe it is a fair assumption that I have a boyfriend, let alone that I would move so far away just to be with him.

While I am moving with the support and friendship of Lexi, I'd like to think that I'm making an independent move. I am doing this because I want to, not because I belong to anybody else. I'm a woman, and I'm young but I'm grown, and if you think that doesn't qualify me to make big, independent decisions, well, I really don't know what to say to you.

I almost want to scream, "I'M MY OWN PERSON!" but that wouldn't be entirely accurate. I'm God's person. He bought my soul at a price and in freedom I allowed him to take it. I'm not so sure about all the theological nuances regarding how much of that decision was mine and how much was his, but nevertheless, here I am, God's person.

So while I'd like to think that I'm doing this for me because I'm independent, gosh durnit, that's simply not true.

Once upon a time, in a magical place called Juneau, Alaska, I discovered something about myself, and that is that I feel much closer to my Lord when I am surrounded by his creation. When I am immersed in an untainted environment that he created and is still creating afresh every moment, he feels so much nearer to me, like I am breathing him in. It really is rather intimate. It brings healing and peace to my soul.

I have nothing against being in the city, but I need more access to the wilderness. So while to some people that may sound like a selfish thing ("I want an adventure!"), in essence it is a God thing ("I need to feel closer to my Creator").

Which really has nothing to do with any man, woman, or beast.


God bless.