Addendum to: Impossible Dreams

Since I posted "Impossible Dreams" mere hours ago, I have been unsettled. I think I know exactly why.

I imagine many of you reading it and wondering why God has not made your dreams come true. I imagine many of you re-facing terrible wounds and scars from unanswered prayers. I imagine you becoming infuriated with me because I have told you that God will grant you something that he hasn't and won't. I imagine you doubting his goodness and love.

I'm sorry if this is the case. I want to clarify.

Believe me when I say that I know what unanswered dreams are. I am not old; I have not gained much wisdom or life experience. But already I have suffered intolerable pain. Here is one example.

I dated a fellow a few years ago. He was the only boyfriend I had that my parents really didn't like, but I loved him so fiercely. I was much, much more in love with him than any other man I have encountered before or since then. Now, I am of the belief that Jesus saves those who accept the salvation he offers. As for the rest, those who reject him and his salvation... well, I believe in Hell, too. And this particular man completely rejected even the existence of God let alone his love and salvation. Maybe you can imagine my heartbreak, maybe not.

I cried out to God on his behalf. I wept for hours (not hours total, but hours at a time), begging God to bring life to this man's dead soul.

And as far as I know, God has not answered my prayer.

I have spent over two years picking up the pieces of my heart.


I prayed that God would give me a meaningful job after graduation, and that he certainly answered. But my job also consists of walking through intense darkness with my clients suffering from severe mental illnesses. It's a heavy weight, and whether I'm clocked in or out, I can feel the cloud hanging over my head. After my pastor preached on depression this morning, mascara streamed down my face for the remainder of the service.

So despite my post earlier today, my life is not entirely peachy.

I don't know why God does this. I don't know how he picks and chooses dreams to grant and dreams to deny. His goodness is prevailing; I can trust him with that. I can believe it in my head even if I cannot understand the reason why.

I don't know why some people suffer with mental illness their whole lives. I don't know why there is such a thing as the "cycle of poverty." I don't know why crimes are committed against the innocent. I don't know why you're still not married or why you still haven't been able to have children. I don't know why you're in a job you hate. I don't know why your closest loved one is dead or dying.

But God is still good. Please hear me! Jesus himself despaired; he felt the pain you feel. He is the only balm for your soul. If you cannot have faith in impossible dreams, remember that this life is temporary; the days of your pain are numbered. Hope in Christ, hope in Christ, hope in Christ. Through him, joy is coming. That is a promise.


God bless.

Disclaimer: Some of the ideas I just wrote about are from straight out of my pastor's sermon which will be available to listen to later this week on veritascolumbus.com.